There is a long history of ironic, white covers of popular hip-hop and R&B tracks — from Dynamite Hack singing “Boyz in the Hood” in golf sweaters and flip flops, to Little Boots’ recent melancholic cover of Kid Cudi’s “Day N Nite.” In general, these attempts range from the retarded to the horribly offensive — with the rare creative or interesting recreation emerging here and there.

The new Fool’s Gold-repped artist Telephoned has recently joined membership into this group and whether they are one of the rare, successful entries into the sub-genre, I will let you be the judge. One thing I can say for Telephoned is that its members are talented. The group is a collaboration between DJ/Producer Sammy Bananas and DJ/Singer Maggie Horn. Bananas has put out a number of solid dance tracks in the past two years, including a pretty wicked remix of Passion Pit’s “The Reeling.”

(mp3s after the jump)

The duo will appear this Wednesday at Harlot, for MW004 presented by Hacksaw Entertainment. There will be a hosted bar from 7-10 and entry is free as long as you RSVP here.

Friends of The Projects Shane King (Hacksaw Ent) and White Girl Lust (Solid Bump) will provide support. This should definitely be a quality hump day party.

Here’s a sample. Enjoy:

Telephoned – Turn My Swag On (feat. Teli of Ninjasonik)

Kid Sister – Daydreaming (Telephoned remix)

– White Mike

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A couple of things about ducks: 1) the males have giant, corkscrew-shaped penises and 2) they have an unfortunate penchant for gang-rape.

While I was in college, a few friends and I had just finished a delicious and affordable meal at a South Bay Chili’s when we witnessed one of the more disturbing spectacles of our young lives. A group of ducks were gathered near the edge of the parking lot and appeared to be reenacting a scene from “The Accused.” As we walked closer, we saw two ducks holding down the head of what we assumed was the female duck, while a third ravaged her from the rear. This continued for a few moments until the lucky duck (!) got off, withdrew and swaggered off down to the adjacent stream, followed by his accomplices.

At the time we were shocked, but apparently gang rape is as much a part of being a duck as flying through rainbows is part of being a unicorn. Also, female ducks have spiral vaginas with trap doors to mislead duck rapists. All of these things are true (except the part about the unicorn) and you can read all about it here.

(Here comes the segue… wait for it…)

Speaking of ducks, Dirty Bird‘s Martin Brothers just released a track with the word duck in the title and hey! one of them is playing at Lights Down Low tomorrow night, 4/24, at Triple Crown.

Anyone that’s followed dance music in San Francisco knows Christian Martin, who most recently appeared among the buffalo at the latest of the fabled Dirtybird BBQ’s this past Sunday in Golden Gate Park.

Headlining alongside Martin is Vancouver’s Felix Cartal, who returns to LDL where once he made his San Francisco debut. Since then, Cartal has blown up as a producer and last month released his first full length album on Dim Mak under the (hopefully) prophetic title, “Popular Music.” I haven’t caught Cartal live, but according to my Projects counterpart DJ Nisus, Cartal put on one of the best performances that he saw last year when he appeared at Ruby Skye.

Providing support is LDL resident Sleazemore, as well as LXNDR (Bad Neighbors) and KONNECT (Trust). Advance tickets are $10 and available here.

Here’s a little sample. Enjoy:

The Martin Brothers – Duckface

Felix Cartal – Volcano (Felix Cartal remix)

– White Mike

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When most Americans think of Ottawa, they picture the historic cholera outbreak of 1832 or the precise urban planning of Frenchman Jacques Greber. However, in addition to being recognized for these fascinating details, Canada’s capitol city supports a pretty solid little house scene. At the center of this lies Disorganized (now Frenzy), a monthly party which for the past 7 years has brought Ottawa’s dance community together to party with some of the world’s top DJs.

Founders DJ Booth and Chameleonic, together known as Jokers of the Scene due to their early difficulties in earning respect from their Ottawan DJ peers, started Disorganized as a small loft party and it quickly grew into one of the city’s premier dance parties. They have since graduated from playing host to that party to touring the globe, signing with record label Fool’s Gold and releasing a handful of original singles, including the massive Baggy Bottom Boys. In addition, they have been commissioned to produce remixes for Passion Pit, Kid Cudi, Acid Girls, Thunderheist, Flosstradamus and Muscles, among others.

Next Friday (4/23), they join The Faint spin-off Depressed Buttons, LA’s Frankie Chan (iheartcomix) and San Francisco’s favorite DJ/Male Model Richie Panic (Blow Up) at 330 Ritch. Advance $13 tix are available here.

(mp3s after the jump)

Here is one of JOTS’s latest remixes, an extended take on Boy 8-Bit’s weirdohouse joint “Wolfen.” Also included: their latest promo mix, which was released last month.

Enjoy:

Boy 8-Bit – Wolfen (Jokers of the Scene remix)

Jokers of the Scene – Bombs Over Belleville mix

Tracklist
1. Jokers of the Scene – Joking Victim
2. B.D.I. – City & Industry
3. Daniel Meteo – In The Mood (Abe Duque Remix)
4. Crash Course In Science – Flying Turns (Terence Fixmer Remix)
5. Tiga – Sex O’Clock (Playgroup Remix)
6. Aberrant – Kirkbride’s Dungeon
7. Stephan Bodzin – Mustang
8. Jori Hulkonnen – Boying in the Smokeroom
9. Fairmont – Mobula
10. Geiger – Bambam
11. Boy 8-Bit – The Keep
12. Mathew Jonson – Ghosts in the Al
13. 2AM/FM – The Path
14. LFO – Freeze
15. Extrawelt – Fernweh
16. The Black Dog – Witches Ov

– White Mike

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Everyone loves a good mystery, especially when that mystery is solved by a talking dog and a group of meddling kids. So in 2008 when some quality dance tracks (including the massive “Mars”) began appearing around the innertron produced by the then-unknown producer Fake Blood, there was active speculation in the dancenerd community as to the producer’s identity and whether it was just an alias for an already established artist. Turns out it was, as Fake Blood was until then better known as Theo Keating aka DJ Touche aka one half of the indie-electro band The Black Ghosts.

(mp3sss after the jump…)

Since that mystery has been solved (and without any canine help), Fake Blood has become arguably one of the best house producers on the planet. Friday night he makes his San Francisco debut at Mezzanine with fellow Brit Boy 8-Bit, another of the UK’s biggest producers. The Projects member Nisus opens along with Blasthaus resident Sleazemore. Tickets are $15 and available at Blasthaus

I guarantee that this will be one of the best dance shows of the year. See you there!

Boy 8-Bit

Florence & the Machine – Drumming Song (Boy 8-Bit remix)

Boy 8-Bit – Wolfen (Original mix)

Fake Blood

Fake Blood – I Think I Like It

Fake Blood – Mars (Boy 8 Bit remix)

Fake Blood – BBC Radio 1 Essential Mix (3-14-2009) (2 hours)

Enjoy.

– White Mike

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German production duo Patrick Bodmer & Philipp Jung, together known by the curiously effeminate label M.A.N.D.Y., gained fame in 2005 with their club hit “Body Language,” a collaboration with Booka Shade, with whom they also partnered in launching the Get Physical record label.

Tomorrow night M.A.N.D.Y. visits SF, headlining a show at Paradise Lounge. Opening will be Nikola Baytala, John Wander and Kuze. Advance tix are $12 and available over at Blasthaus.

(mp3s after the jump…)

Here are a couple of M.A.N.D.Y-related tunes, the first is a house blend of “O Superman” with Gui Boratto’s “Beautiful Life,” put together by Matt Nordstrom of Nadastrom — perfect for the end of the night. Second, is DJ Deekline and Red Polo’s “One in the Front” which flips “Body Language” with some tasteful vocals by DJ Assault.

Enjoy:

M.A.N.D.Y. vs Booka Shade – Superman’s Life (Matt Nordstrom edit)

DJ Deekline & Red Polo feat DJ Assault – One in the Front

– White Mike

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Dutch DJ/Producer Afrojack has been on fire for the past year, steadily churning out bangers including cross-over hits produced for Major Lazer and Pitbull. Yesterday, he dropped this throwback acid house number, which is vaguely reminiscent of The Chemical Brothers during their raver hey-day. You can buy this and other Afrojack tracks here.

Enjoy:

Afrojack – Pacha on Acid

Bonus:

Will Bailey & Mikey Hook – Turn Out the Intro (Afrojack remix)

– White Mike

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So, then she said, “What’s your favorite position?” and I was like, “the fetal position.” And then we made out.

Anyway, kind of a late pass on this one but I recently came across this EP by UK DJ Solo and it is pretty dope. UK Funky with shades of last year’s smash “Trompeta.” You can buy it here.

Solo – Minimood (Round Table Knights remix)

Solo – Rawmania

Enjoy.

– White Mike

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This weekend legendary hip hop turned house dj Stretch Armstrong pulls double duty, playing a pair of parties here in The City. First, Stretch headlines SF’s premier hipster rave Blow Up at The Rickshaw Stop, with support from regulars Richie Panic and Jeffrey Paradise. Saturday night, you can catch him playing 90′s pop hits at 111 Minna for their monthly party Club 1994.

Here’s an electro mix from a 2008 that was one of my favorites from that year (after the jump). Not for the faint of heart:

Stretch Armstrong – Live at Downtown Saturday Night 5-17-08

Bonus, a house remix for Yeezy:

Kanye West – Good Life (Stretch Armstrong remix)

Enjoy.

– White Mike

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