A couple of things about ducks: 1) the males have giant, corkscrew-shaped penises and 2) they have an unfortunate penchant for gang-rape.
While I was in college, a few friends and I had just finished a delicious and affordable meal at a South Bay Chili’s when we witnessed one of the more disturbing spectacles of our young lives. A group of ducks were gathered near the edge of the parking lot and appeared to be reenacting a scene from “The Accused.” As we walked closer, we saw two ducks holding down the head of what we assumed was the female duck, while a third ravaged her from the rear. This continued for a few moments until the lucky duck (!) got off, withdrew and swaggered off down to the adjacent stream, followed by his accomplices.
At the time we were shocked, but apparently gang rape is as much a part of being a duck as flying through rainbows is part of being a unicorn. Also, female ducks have spiral vaginas with trap doors to mislead duck rapists. All of these things are true (except the part about the unicorn) and you can read all about it here.
(Here comes the segue… wait for it…)
Speaking of ducks, Dirty Bird‘s Martin Brothers just released a track with the word duck in the title and hey! one of them is playing at Lights Down Low tomorrow night, 4/24, at Triple Crown.
Anyone that’s followed dance music in San Francisco knows Christian Martin, who most recently appeared among the buffalo at the latest of the fabled Dirtybird BBQ’s this past Sunday in Golden Gate Park.
Headlining alongside Martin is Vancouver’s Felix Cartal, who returns to LDL where once he made his San Francisco debut. Since then, Cartal has blown up as a producer and last month released his first full length album on Dim Mak under the (hopefully) prophetic title, “Popular Music.” I haven’t caught Cartal live, but according to my Projects counterpart DJ Nisus, Cartal put on one of the best performances that he saw last year when he appeared at Ruby Skye.
Here’s a little sample. Enjoy: